Parents All!

A few weeks ago, I was in Chesterfield County Circuit Court with a church member and her family. The case concerned her rights to visitation with the daughter she and her previous partner had birthed and raised for the child’s first six years (the girl is now ten). The partner is the birth mother and therefore is recognized under Virginia law as the mother, the only mother. And she seems to be resisting visitation by the church member I was there to support.  All this is troubling enough. But the distress I was feeling was exacerbated by words that the judge kept repeating: “You know, Ms. F------, you are not a parent.”

Of course, that is not true. Legally, she is not recognized as a parent, but that does not make her a non-parent. It makes her a parent without legal rights.

The pain of all this is excruciating. And it happens too often in Virginia, and elsewhere. As usual, the law lags behind social changes. But I continue to believe that we will break down the walls and move on to better times—not only in this situation but also in the larger matter of re-thinking families so that all of them are protected.

One reason I have hope is a new book by Joe Cobb and Leigh Anne Taylor, Our Family Outing: A Memoir of Coming Out and Coming Through. In it, they explore Joe's struggle with his sexuality, his coming out, their divorce, the changes for them in church and family, and their new-found sense of family--where Leigh Anne, now married to Hugh, is the godmother to JJ, the son born to Joe and his husband, James.

The book is a lovingly honest portrayal of what it means to remain family in the midst of extraordinary strains—providing hope for the continuing evolution of understandings of family that move us beyond bloodlines, laws, and rigid religious rules.

Continue reading....

Like Us on Facebook Today

Social networking is a wonderful thing which is helping social change movements all around the globe. Whole communities of interest find each other and work together—from Arab Spring to Russia, and even in Virginia.
That’s why POFEV has a Facebook page, and why we hope more and more justice-minded folks will link up with it. You can do that by clicking here and choosing to “like” us.

This is just one way to change the face of Virginia, in order to protect all families and to promote justice and equality. It may seem silly, but the more of us who are visible the more others will want to join us.

Let’s “face it.” We need to transform our Commonwealth, and one way we can do that is by sharing our “faithful faces.”  That's why when you “like” POFEV on Facebook, we will also ask you to give us permission to use your “faithful face” in the new banner which will soon sit atop our page.  The banner is not up yet, but it has to be in place by Thursday night, March 29, before the folks who run (and own) Facebook force a change in how the pages of our group (and all others) look and operate.

So, after you “like” us, write on our “wall,” saying “Yes, you can include my face among the faithful ones.” If you can do that by Thursday, that is great, but you can do it later—we want to keep adding faces to the wall of faith.

It’s simple really, and it will make a difference. Each of us can make a difference, one beautiful face at a time.